Right before I deleted my Tinder account, I asked my best friend what was wrong with me, what were my flaws.
She laughed and said she couldn’t do that–I had to do the hard work and examine each of my relationships. ALL of them, not just the romantic ones.
Examining old relationships is easy. It’s practically a favorite pastime. Assigning blame onto an ex for the failure of a relationship is fun!
But it’s not honest. Relationships rarely fail because one person did something wrong. There is a dynamic between two people, and ebb and flow, a cause and effect. Our personalities and tendencies play off of each other; we learn each others’ stress points and insecurities.
But examining my other relationships sound much more daunting…my parents. My four siblings. My cousins, aunt and uncles. Grandparents. Former in-laws. Friends. Acquaintances. Past co-workers. Teachers. And many others who I haven’t mentioned.
I’m somewhat terrified by at the prospect. I think what I may do is find a vase and throw in pieces of paper with names on them. I will work on one person at a time. I may share the examination, I may not.
But I think it will be a good growth opportunity.